Pleb Zoo by Bernard Flesh

The revenge of the Middle Class was terrible indeed, bound by their own sensibilities they could neither dismantle the welfare state nor impose freedom removing laws. Like it or not they were forced to pay for an underclass of second and third generation unemployed and unemployable people. Goaded on by the Daily Mail and, its like, they were whipped into a rage to realize that their tax pounds were going to people who could and would do nothing for themselves. A class so incompetent that their own lives were completely beyond their capabilities. What could they do? How could they stop this? They couldn't let them starve to death, they couldn't withdraw state aid, they couldn't sterilize them or exterminate them. They stood dumbfounded in rage as their new car was keyed and their shed was broken into. They tutted as vast gangs of plebspawn took over town centre shopping centres. Then they had a brilliant idea. "If we have to pay for them we should get something in return" they said, "we shall make them into our entertainment". Genius! Now the more rubbish and useless the proles are, the more entertaining they are. You have 6 kids by 6 different fathers and you don't know who they are, excellent, come and tell us your story! You got your granddaughter pregnant while you were taking acid together? Marvelous, that should make a great yarn. Come and swear and fight for us, we can laugh at your tracksuits and your hilarious teeth, we can discuss your 600 word vocabulary over dinner, we can properly look down on you in a way that hasn't been socially acceptable in decades. Come scum, dance for us, earn your dole checks, come join the pleb zoo!

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